Chapter 9 - How to Assign Empowering Meanings? (Mind Control, Day 7) Part-3 | Begin with “I” by Rohit Sethi - Self Help Learning PDF Download

Exercise 2: Constantly keep your ‘energizers’ handy

“Remember we talked about the days when you just wake up more positive than other days and how you naturally tend to be nice to everyone around? We all have our ‘energizers’, that is, things that can instantly change our frame of mind and make us feel better. These energizers can be a song that has happy association in your mind or picture(s) of someone you truly love or admire, or something gifted to you by someone, or any other thing that can make you resonate with a higher energy level emotion such as passion, enthusiasm or happiness. A good practice is to make a list of all these items that work for you and keep them handy so that each time you feel low, you can instantly change your state of mind.”

“Okay! Let’s do this exercise and see what three to four such energizers can be for you.”

“Ron thinks hard and comes up with three of them:

1.  A song he used to propose to his first girlfriend
2.  A book with a handwritten note from one of the girls who he really liked
3.  His mother’s picture”

“Okay, Ron. I understand the first two. Love is a mighty force that can recognize geniuses within us and inspire us to unleash our giants within. Most people have their energizers as pictures of their spouses and kids which they keep handy all the time in their wallets, phones etc. Your mother’s picture is interesting. This is the first time we talk about your parents. What about your mom? You want to talk about it?”

“She is a simple woman in lifestyle yet extraordinary in her expectations from life. She consistently pushed me to be more and did not let me become complacent no matter what I kept achieving.”

“That’s a great quality, Ron. For most people, their self-images take a massive beating in childhood itself. The influence, we receive from our parents and teachers, plays a key role in how we view ourselves there on.”

“For most people, their self-images take a massive beating in childhood itself.”

“There are two clear extremes within which these people influence us. One is, introducing us to mediocrity and reinforcing it for us or introducing us to genius and inspiring it within us. All parents want the best for their kids and by no means want their kids to be mediocre. However, in addition to this wish, they love their kids so much that their anxiety for them is fairly high. This mix of feelings makes the parents prefer standard options instead of offbeat ones, inadvertently pushing their kids towards becoming ‘extraordinarily mediocre’ as that path ensures certain amount of guarantee for a comfortable life.”

“There are two clear extremes within which these people influence us. One is, introducing us to mediocrity and reinforcing it for us or introducing us to genius and inspiring it within us.”

“Tell me Ron. How would your mom feel about you these days when you are so lost and talk like you already lost the war of life while you have a long way to go?”

“She would not feel good at all.”

“So, what makes her feel good?”

She is genuinely happy when I am fully charged up, bursting with energy to give my best and make a positive difference in everything I do.”

“Simple. What can make you to be like that? Do you recall the last time you were like that?”

“Yes, in the final year of my MBA. I had a business plan for which I was in talks with leading venture capitalists in the country. It was the best year of my life. However, for some reason, I decided to take up a job. It was great in the first three to four years but with time, I started feeling that I wanted to do more.”

“Okay, Ron. So now on, each time you look at your mother’s picture, imagine yourself to be where you were in final year of your MBA, back to the Ron who was charged up and wanted to make a difference. Nothing has changed since. You are the same. The world outside is the same. You have lost touch with the fire within you. In fact, it is not just you. Most people lose this touch with that magnificent source of all possibility inside them somewhere along their way in life. It doesn’t mean the source ceases to exist, it just means that we need to re-establish our connection with it. And for you, your mother’s picture will do exactly that going forward.”

“In fact, it is not just you. Most people lose this touch with that magnificent source of all possibility inside them somewhere along their way in life.”

“Sure Ron+! Now that I relax and try to recall those memories, I can begin to get in touch with the same old Ron after so many years. Thank you for introducing me to this exercise. I will consciously make it a part of my life now and can become the same old Ron whenever I want!”

Exercise 3: Learn positive visualization and mental rehearsal

“A key mental technique that is widely used in sports and business is practising positive visualization and mental rehearsal. Before athletes go into their games, they visualize with full intensity, how the game will unfold, and how they win and how the crowd applauds after they have won. They do this using all their senses, to make it as real an experience as they can. They see the crowd applauding and hear the applauses loud and clear. They imagine what a gold medal would feel like against their chest. As Megan Quann said, ‘I have been visualizing myself every night for the past four years standing on the podium having the gold placed around my neck.” 

“Some athletes claim that they win their games even before the games start. Essentially, they win in the mind first and then in reality. As Camille Duvall said, ‘I train myself mentally with visualization. The morning of a tournament, before I put my feet on the floor, I visualize myself making perfect runs with emphasis on technique, all the way through to what my personal best is in practice... The more you work with this type of visualization, especially when you do it on a day-to-day basis, you’ll actually begin to feel your muscles contracting at the appropriate times.”

“The same technique is used in business, especially before meetings and presentations. Some executives rehearse how the meeting is going to be in their minds. They visualize their fellows asking them questions which they are responding to confidently. Doing it over and over in the mind makes the real event go smoothly. Additionally, doing this before the event can help take away some of the anxiety that usually builds up before key events.”

“Doing it over and over in the mind makes the real event go smoothly.”

Exercise 4: Categorize people around you and decide your level of engagement

“You might find this exercise bit disturbing and painful. But trust me it will have a tremendous impact on your life if you do it well. List all the people in your peer group: friends, colleagues, extended family, and acquaintances, that you interact with and categorize them into three groups based on how you feel during and after your interactions with them. Do you feel positive, neutral, or negative? Do they inspire you or drain your energies?”

“Have you heard this anecdote, of the man who wanted to jump down a bridge and commit suicide? Another man saw him, rushed towards him, acknowledged his pain and offered to talk about it if it could make him feel better. They talked for a couple of hours and then both of them jumped off the bridge. You know some people who can have that impact on others. We all do. Avoid these people at all costs! I do not have anything against them. We all have our reasons to be the way we are, but these reasons should not hold us prisoners and keep us tied to negativity, so much so that we spread it to others. I understand that you might like some of these people and might be close to them, which is perfectly fine. Once you are able to take yourself to another level of positivity, you may be able to help them. For now, you will have to detach yourself, undergo your transformation and then help them in theirs. It’s like they say on the airplanes: Wear your own oxygen mask before you help others.”

“I can appreciate what you are saying here.”

“Ron, look at the table that I have prepared. Categorize people and see the actions you need to take. Take your time to prepare the list. You don’t have to share it with me if you don’t want to.”

Table 12: Peer categorization

Ron prepares the list. He writes the actions he can take to ensure he is able to increase or decrease the association as required. Ron also creates a timeline around them.

Exercise 5: Cultivate your intuition to make it stronger

“This is a very important topic as our intuition connects us to our source. Most people assume that their prayers do not get answered. The truth is that they were never available to listen to the answers! The most effective way to increase your intuition is to start trusting it by listening to and acting on it.”

“The single most effective way to increase your intuition is to start trusting it by listening to and acting on it.”

“To be able to listen to it, the first step is to make space for it within our thought train of the 60,000 thoughts that we run in our minds every day. Practicing mindfulness can help increase your faith in intuition. It can be difficult when you begin, so start using the ‘switch analogy’. Imagine there is a switchboard in your mind with multiple switches on it for work, family, meditation and the like. When you leave work, visualize in your mind that you turn off the work switch and turn on the family one. When you want to be silent or meditate, turn off all others and turn on the meditate one. Just this one simple technique symbolically instructs our minds to relax. We can thus be fully present wherever we are in the moment. Being fully present is the path to that connection within us.”

“On a more tactical level, there are games you can play with your intuition and they are fun as well! Pick some from the list below, or can decide to do all of them on a regular basis:

• Who’s calling? – Whenever someone calls, try to guess in a split second, who it could be before checking it
• What’s the time? – When wanting to check for time on your watch or phone, make a quick guess in your mind, down to the hour and minute and then check it
• What’s the card? – Take a pack of cards and randomly try to predict the next card that you will turn. You can start from the color of the card: red or black, and then with time move on to the suit: Spades, Hearts, Diamonds or Clubs
• What’s he or she wearing? – Guess what people will be wearing before you meet them. Start generic and with time, go to specific details

“You are right! They indeed seem like games! I will start working on them.”

With this, the transformational weekend comes to an end. These two days have been quite enlightening for Ron. He got to learn about ‘Goals’ and ‘Mind Control’ and really understood himself more on what is really important to him in this life and how he can have the mental strength to pursue it.

Lying in bed with a feeling of newfound clarity, Ron is ready to doze off, and is eager to start a new day. Now he knows what he wants out of it and every day that will follow here on.