Q1: Everywhere it was played, people made adjustments, naming game spaces after local streets and landmarks and sometimes inventing new rules.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) spaces on the board after nearby town streets and places that someone might consider noteworthy
(c) game spaces after streets or whatever
(d) the spaces on which the game is played after some local stuff
Ans: (c)
The original sentence implies that people made adjustments to the game spaces by naming them after local streets and landmarks or inventing new rules. Option C maintains the meaning of the sentence while simplifying the phrase "nearby town streets and places that someone might consider noteworthy" to "streets or whatever," which makes the sentence more concise and clear.
Q2: First, since they came from the past, McWilliams's photographs provide a rare and valuable record of the daily life of African Americans in a small town in the early 1900s.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) being that they have preserved the past,
(c) because they are from a long time ago,
(d) OMIT the underlined portion.
Ans: (d)
The original sentence effectively conveys the idea that McWilliams's photographs serve as a valuable record of African American daily life in the early 1900s. The phrase "since they came from the past" is unnecessary and does not add any relevant information to the sentence. Thus, omitting this underlined portion improves the clarity and conciseness of the sentence.
Q3: For as long as I can remember, it is true that I have wanted to play the harmonica.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) it is a fact that
(c) it has always been the case that
(d) OMIT the underlined portion.
Ans: (d)
The phrase "it is true that" is redundant and adds unnecessary verbosity to the sentence. The statement "For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to play the harmonica" is clear and effective without the underlined portion, making option D the most appropriate choice.
Q4: For his artful cinematography, Howe was awarded and won two Academy Awards, and an additional eight more nominations were made.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) additional nominations included another eight for his work.
(c) eight additional nominations were given.
(d) he was nominated for eight more.
Ans: (d)
The phrase "additional eight more nominations were made" is redundant and awkward. Option D provides a clearer and more concise way to convey the information, making it the most appropriate choice.
Q5: For one thing, when teenagers go to a theater, they have to buy tickets from a person presumably, responsible enough to deny them admission by exclusion if they're underage.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) and not let them in
(c) to get in
(d) OMIT the underlined portion.
Ans: (d)
The phrase "presumably, responsible enough to deny them admission by exclusion if they're underage" is wordy and awkward. The sentence is clearer and more concise without this underlined portion, making option D the best choice.
Q6: Fortunately, the wind was with them the final few miles, and during those last miles of the trip, they were able to ski off the continent itself and onto the Ross Ice Shelf.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) and during those fortunate moments,
(c) so the wind carried them and
(d) and
Ans: (a)
The phrase "Fortunately, the wind was with them the final few miles" effectively conveys the idea that the wind was favorable during the final leg of the trip. Option A maintains the intended meaning and clarity of the sentence.
Q7: Frequently, common activities, such as hunting for prey, often disperse a pack over large areas of land; in order to reunite, he separated wolves howl to one another.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) Quite regularly, common
(c) Many times, common
(d) Common
Ans: (d)
The phrase "Frequently, common activities" is redundant, as both "frequently" and "common" convey a similar idea. Option D provides a concise and clear alternative to the original sentence.
Q8: He had volunteered to do civil rights work in Mississippi, the twentieth state admitted to the Union, during the Freedom Summer of 1964 before returning to classes that fall.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) the state of Mississippi (also known as the Magnolia State),
(c) Mississippi, admitted to the Union in 1817,
(d) Mississippi
Ans: (d)
The underlined portion provides additional information about Mississippi's status as the twentieth state admitted to the Union. However, this information is not essential to the sentence's meaning and can be omitted without affecting comprehension. Option D maintains clarity and conciseness.
Q9: He suspected that this miraculous-seeming process may or may not offer valuable insights into how all learning occurs, including learning to play a musical instrument.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) might offer
(c) could suggest important
(d) might indeed provide one with
Ans: (b)
The phrase "may or may not" is redundant, as both "might" and "offer" imply uncertainty. Option B, "might offer," provides a more concise and clear alternative to the original sentence.
Q10: Her initial fatigue and exhaustion turned into exhilaration as she moved through water that was clearer and blue as any she'd swum in before.
(a) NO CHANGE
(b) exhaustion
(c) exhaustion that left her feeling fatigued
(d) exhausting fatigue
Ans: (b)
The underlined portion effectively conveys the idea that the protagonist's initial fatigue and exhaustion transformed into exhilaration. Option B, "exhaustion," maintains clarity and conciseness.
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1. What is concision? |
2. How can concision improve writing clarity? |
3. What are some common examples of redundancy in writing? |
4. Why is it important to avoid redundancy in writing? |
5. How can writers practice concision in their writing? |
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