Chapter 6 - How The World Sees You? (Charisma, Day 4) Part -2 | Begin with “I” by Rohit Sethi - Self Help Learning PDF Download

Principle 4: Having a focus wider than your own self is a key element for charisma

“I think I understood the previous principles. What is this one about?”

“This one is about the next level. Let me explain! You can raise your charisma significantly if you work on the principles discussed earlier. But, you will still hit a ceiling. This is the journey to go from successful to significant. You can be successful with all these, but to be really significant,

you need to focus outside yourself on something bigger than yourself. This is what I was referring to when I said you can start to teach others your learnings on the way, as early as you think you are ready for it. Remember, people do not follow other people, they follow causes. Leadership comes from envisioning something that doesn’t yet exist and then fearlessly heading towards it taking along others who wish to go there too.”

“You can be successful with all these, but to be really significant, you need to have the focus outside yourself on something bigger than yourself.”

“Some kind of spiritual growth gets unlocked when you move beyond yourself to others. Try this for yourself. From where you are right now in life, start adding a few activities that impact more lives than your own and your immediate family and see the magic unfold! Your energy and resources will expand in the proportion of your span of consideration, that is, how many people you really care about. Here, people typically think that they will share once they have it, which is in contradiction to the law of intention that we talked about earlier. The more you keep ‘wanting’ before ‘giving’, the more you remain in the ‘wanting’ state. The moment you move into the ‘giving’ state, with whatever you can, you begin to attract a future for yourself where you continue to ‘give’ more. You are given more so you can give more. It might sound like I am talking about miracles here, but miracles happen only for people who believe that they happen. As Saint Augustine said, ‘Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to that which is known to us of nature’. As Albert Einstein said, ‘There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle’. Both refer to the power of belief that we discussed yesterday.”

“Ron, start to really believe that you are charismatic. Do the exercises and see how everything feeds into everything else to unleash an evolved version of yourself. Let’s get to some exercises around building Charisma

Exercise 1: Baseline your charisma: Do a current assessment of your charisma level

“The overall idea is to: 

i. Assess your current self and establish the baseline

ii. Define your target aspiration

iii. Identify gaps

iv. Define steps to close them”

“Let’s begin with your current assessment. I want you to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 along each of the defined aspects. And please, do it sincerely! A lot of people do not take these exercises seriously. Remember what Peter Drucker said, ‘What gets measured gets done!’”

Ron takes a while to think through and comes up with a scorecard for himself.

Table 4: Ron’s current charisma level

Exercise 2: Design the leap to next level: Define the target charisma level

Ron takes a while and decides to target a score of 9 in each of the areas.

Table 5: Ron’s target charisma level

“Okay, Ron. Now that you have the target scores, the next step is to design tasks on how you will raise your charisma level in each aspect. The tasks are fairly standard and the scores go higher based on how well you are able to do these tasks. It is not necessarily about adding many more new tasks.”

They take some time to work together and come up with the list.

Dressing style

     Dress elegant 

• No matter what occasion, formal or informal, ensure that you dress elegant; overdressed is fine, under is not

    Shop for quality, not quantity

• Whatever quality you buy currently, go a notch higher now, even if it means you buy lesser quantity

Communication

 Become passionately interested in other people

• People like to talk about themselves, ask them questions on what they like and not like (don’t go overboard asking personal questions when you do not yet share that level of comfort with them!)

 Ask and remember names

• There are a host of popular techniques that can help you remember names of people when you meet them, research these techniques, practise a few and adopt the ones that work best for you

Be respectful and considerate at all times

• Be friendly and caring to everyone you talk to all the time and use more of “please”, “thank you” and “sorry” in your language; even if it is family members, try using these words and see how your life changes

Develop listening skills

•     Strive to be a world-class listener; do not finish other peoples’ sentences, no matter what!

Refine your non-verbal communication

• Train yourself to be consciously aware of your voice and body language at all times until it becomes natural for them to be consistent with your words

Mannerisms

   Increase awareness

• Become aware of and be sensitive to cultural differences
• Refine your current mannerisms that may not show you in a very positive light

  Develop a genuine smile

• Work on developing a genuine smile that reflects your authenticity

  Be punctual

• Respect your and other peoples’ time by always keeping your time commitments

Attitude

    Be authentic

• Be honest and frank; it is possible to be honest and frank with others while being emotionally sensitive and empathetic towards them

Develop an optimistic attitude

• Once you alter your beliefs to more empowering ones, your attitude will automatically start being more positive

Professionalism

 Do more than you get paid for

• Make it a habit to do what is expected and then do something more than that

Under-promise over-deliver

• Make it a point to delight people who come in contact with you

Exercise 3: Take the leap to next level

“I leave it to you to decide how you want to do this exercise. You don’t have to do it right away. Take your time to write down the steps it will take you to close the gap between your current and target scores. Start with the onetime activities you want to do and attach timelines to them. Once the plan is ready, put it at a place you can see it every day; bathroom mirror is always a good candidate! Some of the activities can be done quickly, while some others may take longer. Once you have a clear plan with timelines placed where it is visible, it is easy to monitor your progress.”

Exercise 4: Once this iteration becomes natural, start all over again

 
“As you do this exercise, you will start to hit positive momentum. You will start liking the feeling of making progress. As you go further, another observation you will make is that as you evolve to a more charismatic person at a score of 9, from that position, when you rate yourself, you will again give yourself a 6 or 7 on all or some of the items. Your horizon would have expanded and you would have seen more possibilities. That observation will verify the assertion that becoming extraordinary is a journey. Once you reach your target state, you will realize there is more distance to cover. Repeat the exercises once you reach your defined current target state and redefine a new target!”