Chapter 8 - What Is Your Vision? (Goals, Day 6) | Begin with “I” by Rohit Sethi - Self Help Learning PDF Download

What Is Your Vision?  (Goals, Day 6) 

“When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind” ~ Seneca

This is the weekend. It is the right time to engage in something that is important and takes longer to discuss. Ron+ had already told Ron that he wanted to reserve first day of the weekend for a topic that is quite critical for anyone’s success. One cannot define success without this being in place. This is the day to talk about visioning and goal setting. Without a vision or goals in place, how will one know if they are successful? In the race to ‘have’, people accumulate without knowing how much is really ‘enough’. If there is no contentment, any amount will not be.

Ron finishes his morning rituals. He does a 30-minute run too! Ron+ comes in, his usual self, calm, serene, wise and content. While Ron is sipping green tea, he tells Ron+ how badly he misses coffee, and how a cup of coffee on a weekend morning will be just perfect.

Ron+ chuckles, “Ron, have a longer term perspective. You are on a journey that will transform your life. You will produce better results going forward in all life areas. Just indulge me. It is only fifteen days. You won’t die! We are doing this so that the accomplishment increases your inner strength and convinces you that you can do this and tougher things in the time to come.”

“You are on a journey that will transform your life. You will produce better results going forward in all life areas.”

“Sure, I understand! I can wait!”

“I will tell you a little about how some addictions work. Contrary to what you expect, you do not feel the worst on day one. You feel it around day three or four, after which you feel fine again. With coffee, you are exactly at that point. I totally empathize with you. Once you cross this, things will get better.”

“Let’s talk about core principles of the second element within the pillar of ‘Inspiration’”

Principle 1: A compelling vision is the first step for all transformation (same as having ‘be’ goals)

“Ron, there is a saying ‘A person who doesn’t know where he is going, usually gets there’. In fact, a key requirement if you want to be extraordinarily average in your life is to not have a vision for yourself and take life as it comes.”

“Goal setting is discussed in all kinds of personal and professional development training programs. But, the focus still tends to be on ‘have’ goals, that is, people are encouraged to write down what they want to have in next one, five or ten years. As examples: ‘I want to have one million dollars in my bank’ or ‘I want to have a Ferrari’. Having ‘have’ goals is fine, I am not against them. But they are more linked to leading a comfortable life and that’s all about it. You cannot expect fulfilment coming from ‘have’ goals.”

“Fulfilment comes from ‘be’ goals, that is, who you want to be in one, five or ten years. As examples:  ‘I want to be an accomplished author’ or ‘I want to be a successful businessman’. Creating ‘be’ goals is like creating a vision for you. That is why I call this exercise as ‘visioning’. A compelling vision is the first step for all transformation as it provides the required ‘why’. As Friedrich Nietzsche said, ‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how’”

“Real happiness and contentment come only from becoming ‘more’ and not just ‘having’ more. We saw how the law of creation works. One cannot even ‘have’ before ‘being’. Irrespective of whether you are convinced of the law or not, start from ‘be’ goals. Ensure that the vision you create is not easy but a stretched one. As Michelangelo said, ‘The greatest danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark’”

“Real happiness and contentment in life can come only from becoming ‘more’ and not just ‘having’ more.”

“Once you have a compelling vision for yourself with concretely defined steps on how to get there, you will experience a new sense of freedom. Yes, it might sound counterintuitive, but it’s true. You will not be too bothered with what your friends and colleagues are doing once you are excited to make your vision a reality. As Henry Ford said, ‘Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal’”

Principle 2: It is fine to make ‘have’ goals as they give a more tangible feel, however, they should never cloud the main ‘be’ goals

“I encourage you to make both kinds of goals. Start from the ‘be’ goals. How do you see yourself in the next one, five or ten years? Then move to ‘have’ goals. For your ‘have’ goals, you need to know why you want to ‘have’ them as it is not really the ‘having’ that makes you want it. There is a corresponding need that that thing would satisfy for you or some emotion that it allows you to experience.”

“Both the ‘be’ and ‘have’ goals continue to evolve as you progress and achieve some of them. As you ‘be’ someone, you want to ‘be’ more, as you ‘have’ some things, you want to ‘have’ some others. That is the natural progress that human spirit thrives on.”

“Both ‘be’ and ‘have’ goals continue to evolve as you progress and achieve some of them.”

Principle 3: Unwritten goals are better known as wishes; goals needs to be written down, specific and time-bound

“Ron+, it feels so weird to write down goals, do people usually do it?”

“Most people never write their goals down. Owing to this reluctance, they lose out on the big benefits that come about from having written down goals.” 

“Something magical happens when you write your goals down.”

“Can you elaborate how that happens?”

“Sure, something magical happens when you write your goals down:

• By writing them down, you make your goals come alive, that is, you bring them into existence and they are not the same as other thoughts that you think every day. It is estimated that we think 60,000 thoughts every day with 95% of them being same as those from the previous day!

• The process of writing them down engages our motor mechanism, that is, our physical body, thereby registering them more deeply within our nervous systems

• As we discussed within ‘Beliefs’, our mind, more so the subconscious mind, is a solution-seeking mechanism. Since our perception cannot take in all the sensory inputs we receive, it filters information to bring only limited content within our perception. Once we assign clear goals, the mind starts to filter in information relevant to them. You would have observed this for yourself. When you consider buying something, say some model of a car, you start seeing it everywhere, on billboards that you passed by many times before but never noticed them until now. Once you write your goals down, it is possible to put them in an accessible place, for example, the bathroom mirror where you can see them every day. Seeing them in the morning helps you start your day directing your mind to get into your focus all those things that will take you closer to your goals

• Written down goals are easier to share with others. There are multiple views on whether one should share their goals with others or not. Some schools of thought recommend not sharing them with anyone and keeping them a total secret as these are your goals, and, instead of dissipating your energy on telling them to others, you should channelize energy towards the actual attainment of these goals. Another school of thought says that one should declare their goals openly to the universe. This has clear positives in terms of attracting more like-minded people into your life and driving you to work towards them, as you have increased accountability since you told so many people that you were going to do it.

I personally like the latter approach more. When you disclose your goals to another person, you can have only three reactions:

1. The other person gets excited for you and connects you with some resources and  people who are into similar fields so you can directly benefit from their experience
2. The other person is indifferent and doesn’t react much, but by just saying them aloud one more time, you reinforce your goals to yourself
3. The other person tries to put you down and claims that you will never be able to achieve your goals. I understand that with this reaction, there is a possibility that you get discouraged, but that is for people who are not aware of these principles. In your case, these are the people who will actually help you train your mental muscle and mind control and end up working in your favor. We will talk more about this tomorrow on how you can do this

Lastly, as written down goals are tangible ‘things’, they are easy to keep handy. They can serve as your counsel towards maintaining a longterm perspective in life. This helps people make better decisions in the short-term, while bringing in excitement in life with the mundane tasks seeming more meaningful. Instead of seeing your job as something that keeps you stuck, you view it as something that pays your bills and allows you to gradually move closer to your larger goals

“Written down goals are easy to keep handy and can serve as your counsel towards maintaining a long-term perspective in life.”

Principle 4: Progress towards your goals daily and have fun on the way

“On the way to achieving your goals, ensure that you build two aspects:

1. Take at least one small step towards your goal everyday – It will maintain the momentum while constantly signaling to your subconscious that you are determined to achieve your goal and are disciplined about it. If you have more than one goal, it might not be possible to pursue all of them daily. Ensure that you take a small step on each, once a week
2. Reward yourself on attainment of both small and big milestones – It is common knowledge in human motivation that whatever gets rewarded gets reinforced. This is a key aspect in ensuring that the momentum stays. Reward yourself when you achieve milestones on the way to your goals. For instance, take a nice evening out with your friends, or buy something you always wanted to have, or any other thing that works for you when you achieve a milestone”

“Okay, enough of theory! Let’s do some exercises.”

Exercise 1: Create a long-term vision for yourself, that is, what do you want to ‘be’ when you are 40 / 50 / 60 along each of the five life areas

”Ron, this is an important exercise. Ensure that you put enough seriousness into it. It will give you the direction you are headed in life. This can be done alone or with a group of trusted people. Use a whiteboard if it is easily accessible. If not, do it on paper. Brainstorm individually or collectively on how you would want to ‘be’ when you are 40, 50 or 60 years old. How do you want other people to know you? How do you want to feel? Do this for each of your life areas. This is your long-term vision. It will be tough to do this exercise without focusing on what you want to ‘have’. But, please indulge me. Do it for the ‘be’ first and then you will get a chance to go for the ‘have’ goals.”

“Okay, as you say, Ron+!”

Ron comes up with the following long-term vision.

Table 8: Long-term vision – ‘Be’ goals

“Okay. Now that you have done the ‘be’ exercise, I want you to do the ‘have’ exercise. You can extend the same table.”

Ron includes the ‘have’ goals as well. 

Table 9: Long-term vision – ‘Be’ and ‘Have’ goals

“Okay, Ron. How do you feel when you look at this table?”

“I feel I am full of optimism and excited about the good future I can have. When I look at this, I wonder why I get so anxious about my everyday life when it is going to unfold in such a positive way eventually!”

“Ron, the anxiety is there because you have not formalized your vision. Once you formalize the vision, you realize that all anxiety vanishes. Now that we have the ‘long-term vision’, let’s move to the next step.”

Exercise 2: Work backwards to create a vision for yourself over next five years along each life area

“Working backwards from your ‘long-term vision’, do the same thing over next five years and ensure you cover all life areas. For each area, envision how you want to be, followed by what you would like to have.”

Ron follows the instructions and comes up with the table.

Table 10: Five-year vision – ‘Be’ and ‘Have’ goals

Exercise 3: Perform a gap assessment between your current and your envisioned self; develop a roadmap with milestones and timelines to bridge it

“Once you define your target state for next five years, assess yourself on each area and identify the gaps. Individually or collectively, as the case may be, pick activities that appeal to you and you wish to have in your life to help you close these gaps. Let’s work together on your list and see what activities we can come up with.”

They work together and come up with a list of activities for Ron that will help him bridge the gaps between his current and target defined states.

Table 11: Activities to bridge the five-year gap

“Once the activities are identified, create a roadmap and timeline for them. Remember, doing this exercise with another person or other people, 

brings additional benefit of an increased sense of accountability that puts more pressure on you. That is a personal preference though. Feel free to choose between doing it alone or with others. The best arrangement here and in previous exercises where you have activities to be done with proper timelines, is to have at least one person, who can be your accountability partner. You can even split this program and have multiple accountability partners depending on the activities. To illustrate, you can have a personal trainer for your physical goals, a yoga teacher for your spiritual goals, and so on. You can have a Success/ Life/ Performance Coach as the partner in this overall program to whom you can report your progress on a regular basis and seek feedback. We will elaborate on structuring this in the days to come.”

“Thanks Ron+! This day was helpful! I feel more in control now that I see my goals clearly written down. My mind is already starting to go into ‘solution mode’ instead of staying in ‘problem mode’. It is telling me ‘what needs to happen for me to get there’ rather than ‘why I cannot get there’”

“Sure Ron, you are most welcome! I am glad it is helping!”

On that note, they end first day of the weekend that can be called quite a transformational weekend for Ron.