Becoming Independent | Writing for Academic IELTS PDF Download

This model essay is about the issue of whether people in society today are more dependent on each other than the past or more independent. It was recently in the test. It's quite a tricky question to answer because deciding what amounts to being either 'dependent' or 'independent' is very subjective. 

Take a look at the question:
Q. Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Hint

• This is a 'discuss two opinions' type essay, or what some call a discussion essay.
• You have to make sure you discuss both sides of the argument, not just one. So you need to discuss these two things:
  • Why people are more dependent on each other
  • Why people are more independent
• Being dependent on others means that you require other people in some way to support you. Being independent means you are self-sufficient and don't rely on others. 
• And you must also of course give your opinion. One easy way to do that in this type of essay is to make one of the two points your opinion as well. 
• You can have a separate paragraph if you want discussing your opinion but you have to then come up with more ideas or you could end up repeating yourself in the last paragraph. 
• Just try and come up with two examples of ways in which people these days depend on others, and two that show people are independent. 
• Remember you are not marked on how good your ideas are (though they must answer the question of course) but how well you present and explain them. 
• These are the ideas brainstormed for this essay:
  • Dependent on others for:
    (i) Positive self-image
    (ii) Support in our busy lives
  • Independent because
    (i) Families live apart
    (ii) People want privacy

Sample Answer

• It has always been the case that in certain ways our lives are intertwined with the lives of others. However, in the modern era, some people believe that dependency between people has increased, whereas others believe that people have grown to be more independent. 
• One reason that people think we are more dependent on each other is because of our reliance on others to provide a positive image of ourselves. People are bombarded these days with pictures of beautiful models and people who seem to have perfect lives. Many people therefore feel the need to go on social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, in order to post pictures and they need others to get as many ‘likes’ as possible.  In addition to this, because of the hectic and busy lives some families lead, it is argued they are dependent on others to support them, such as with grandparents helping to take care of their grandchildren because the parents don't have time. 
• However, despite this, overall I believe that people are generally more independent. This can be seen in the way that so many people live away from their families and lead their own lives. For example, families used to live nearby to each other, but nowadays people often reside in different cities to their parents and siblings or in other countries, seeing each other only rarely in some cases. Not only this, people prefer more privacy than in the past and do not require help from others, seen in the way that neighbours these days often do not know each other or interact at all.
• In conclusion, although in certain ways people are more dependent, it is generally the case that people now live more independent lives. Only over time will it be revealed as to whether this is a positive or negative development for society.