Is NLP Manipulative? - from NLP Trainer Dr. Matt Video Lecture | Neuro-Linguistic Programming: A Practical Hands-on Course - Personal Learning

can you get people to do things that
they don't want to do with NLP in other
words is NLP manipulation this is a
question that I got a lot especially
when I taught hypnosis classes I would
go out and teach a hypnosis class and
almost right off the bat some want to
raise their hand and say can you get
people do things that they don't want to
do with hypnosis and I said if I could
the training would already be over
because I would walk out and I would go
all your problems are gone all your
problems are gone and they laugh and
then one person literally said no no
really I heard that with hypnosis you
can get people to do things that they
don't want to do and I said look that's
just not the case if it were that
powerful it would be regulated the
government would have stepped in already
and done something to take that ability
away to prohibit us from being able to
have that level of control as a parent
of a twelve-year-old going on teenage
and a five-year-old if I had that level
of control I would definitely be
exerting it on them and listen they're
great kids the difference between
manipulation and influence is the
motivation and so let's look at the word
specifically of motivation motivation is
what is the reason why you're doing it
see manipulation is attempting to
influence someone for selfish reasons
for your own personal gain for your own
things and look I'm opposed to that when
I want to be influential with people
like my kids with my students it's for
them to get their own positive
intentions their own positive gains and
so really NLP is about learning how to
be more influential from a positive
perspective in fact we bring in such a
level of integrity and ethics I want to
be really clear on this I've had people
in the training who really were
struggling with the material and yet I
knew they would get it if they just
stuck around hung out and I worked with
them all the way through the entire
training one-on-one just like I'm doing
right now with you to make sure that
they got it and I've had people in the
training come up and say to me I'm
learning these things so I can get
people to do things if they don't want
to do and I've actually had people leave
my training because of that I have a
very strict rule your intention is so
powerful why are you doing what you're
doing that is literally the difference
we to influence and manipulation and in
fact I have a family number and you know
I think we all have a family member
a friend that for whatever reason
utilizes emotions during certain
situations to get something that they
want that is different than what the
group wants and that to me is a small or
lesser form of manipulation and she
actually opened up and admitted at one
time to me and said yeah I use these
emotions in those moments to get the
family the group to do what I want them
to do and I just sit there thinking off
you just knew NLP if you're just new
positive communication and let go of
that baggage you would be able to
influence the group from a positive
perspective rather than manipulate the
group to do something that they don't
want to do so let's be really clear from
a psychological perspective speaking
view as a doctor of psychology a set of
tools and techniques are not
manipulation in and of themselves an
individual is either manipulative or not
that's just a clear definition from a
psychological perspective and i equated
to the analogy of a hammer a hammer can
be used to build a house or it can be
used to hectare a house down that same
analogy applies to communication tools
so manipulation is about the person not
the tools or techniques the influence
that you have over other people to me
comes from your integrity and your
ethics and you can be very influential
with NLP and you can let go of that old
idea of manipulation easily and
effortlessly