**The State of Mind of the Poetess in "My Mother at Sixty Six"**

In the poem "My Mother at Sixty Six" by Kamala Das, the poetess portrays a deep sense of anxiety, fear, and vulnerability as she accompanies her aging mother on a journey. The poem beautifully captures the emotional turmoil and conflicting thoughts that arise within the poetess, highlighting her state of mind.

**1. Anxiety and Fear:**
The poetess's state of mind is initially characterized by anxiety and fear as she observes her mother's aging process. She expresses her concern for her mother's fragility and vulnerability, stating that her mother's "eyes closed in the impersonal sleep of aging" and noting the "frail, pale bones" that are now visible. This anxiety stems from the realization that her mother's mortality is becoming more apparent, and the poetess is fearful of the inevitable loss she will face.

**2. Sense of Helplessness:**
The poetess experiences a sense of helplessness as she witnesses her mother's physical decline. She describes her mother as "looking out of the car window" with a "pale, pale face" and mentions how she holds her hand tightly, possibly to provide some sense of comfort and support. This helplessness arises from the poetess's inability to halt or reverse the aging process, leaving her feeling powerless in the face of her mother's frailty.

**3. Emotional Conflict:**
The poetess's state of mind is also marked by emotional conflict. While she loves her mother dearly and is concerned about her well-being, she also experiences a sense of detachment and distance. She admits to being "ashamed" of the "tearless" state of her eyes, indicating a struggle between her desire to display her love and her inability to fully express it. This conflict arises from the fear of confronting the reality of her mother's mortality and the emotional pain associated with it.

**4. Contemplation of Loss:**
As the journey progresses, the poetess contemplates the loss she will inevitably face when her mother passes away. She expresses her fear of losing her mother, with the image of her mother's "white hair" turning to "ashes" haunting her thoughts. This contemplation of loss intensifies the poetess's state of mind, deepening her anxiety and vulnerability.

**In conclusion**, the state of mind of the poetess in "My Mother at Sixty Six" is characterized by anxiety, fear, helplessness, emotional conflict, and contemplation of loss. Through her vivid imagery and poignant expressions, Kamala Das effectively portrays the complex emotions experienced by the poetess as she grapples with the aging and mortality of her beloved mother.

The poetess was afraid of her mother's approaching death.