Page 1
Growing up as
Boys and Girls
Being a boy or a girl is an
important part of one?s identity. The
society we grow up in teaches us
what kind of behaviour is
acceptable for girls and boys, what
boys and girls can or cannot do.
We often grow up thinking that
these things are exactly the same
everywhere. But do all societies
look at boys and girls in the same
way? We will try and answer this
question in this chapter. We will
also look at how the different roles
assigned to boys and girls prepare
them for their future roles as men
and women. We will learn that
most societies value men and
women differently. The roles
women play and the work they do
are usually valued less than the
roles men play and the work they
do. This chapter will also examine
how inequalities between men and
women emerge in the area of work.
4
CHAPTER
Page 2
Growing up as
Boys and Girls
Being a boy or a girl is an
important part of one?s identity. The
society we grow up in teaches us
what kind of behaviour is
acceptable for girls and boys, what
boys and girls can or cannot do.
We often grow up thinking that
these things are exactly the same
everywhere. But do all societies
look at boys and girls in the same
way? We will try and answer this
question in this chapter. We will
also look at how the different roles
assigned to boys and girls prepare
them for their future roles as men
and women. We will learn that
most societies value men and
women differently. The roles
women play and the work they do
are usually valued less than the
roles men play and the work they
do. This chapter will also examine
how inequalities between men and
women emerge in the area of work.
4
CHAPTER
In what ways do the experiences
of Samoan children and teenagers
differ from your own experiences
of growing up? Is there anything
in this experience that you wish
was part of your growing up?
A Class VII Samoan child
in his school uniform.
Why do girls like to go to school
together in groups?
Growing up in Samoa in the 1920s
The Samoan Islands are part of a large group of small
islands in the southern part of the Pacific Ocean. In
the 1920s, according to research reports on Samoan
society, children did not go to school. They learnt
many things, such as how to take care of children or
do household work from older children and from
adults. Fishing was a very important activity on the
islands. Young people, therefore, learnt to undertake
long fishing expeditions. But they learnt these things
at different points in their childhood.
As soon as babies could walk, their mothers or
other adults no longer looked after them. Older
children, often as young as five years old, took over
this responsibility. Both boys and girls looked after
their younger siblings. But, by the time a boy was
about nine years old, he joined the older boys in
learning outdoor jobs like fishing and planting
coconuts. Girls had to continue looking after small
children or do errands for adults till they were
teenagers. But, once they became teenagers they had
much more freedom. After the age of fourteen or so,
girls also went on fishing trips, worked in the
plantations, learnt how to weave baskets. Cooking
was done in special cooking-houses, where boys were
supposed to do most of the work while girls helped
with the preparations.
Growing up male in
Madhya Pradesh in the 1960s
The following is adapted from an account of
experiences of being in a small town in Madhya
Pradesh in the 1960s.
From Class VI onwards, boys and girls went to
separate schools. The girls? school was designed very
differently from the boys? school. They had a central
courtyard where they played in total seclusion and
39 Chapter 4: Growing up as Boys and Girls
Page 3
Growing up as
Boys and Girls
Being a boy or a girl is an
important part of one?s identity. The
society we grow up in teaches us
what kind of behaviour is
acceptable for girls and boys, what
boys and girls can or cannot do.
We often grow up thinking that
these things are exactly the same
everywhere. But do all societies
look at boys and girls in the same
way? We will try and answer this
question in this chapter. We will
also look at how the different roles
assigned to boys and girls prepare
them for their future roles as men
and women. We will learn that
most societies value men and
women differently. The roles
women play and the work they do
are usually valued less than the
roles men play and the work they
do. This chapter will also examine
how inequalities between men and
women emerge in the area of work.
4
CHAPTER
In what ways do the experiences
of Samoan children and teenagers
differ from your own experiences
of growing up? Is there anything
in this experience that you wish
was part of your growing up?
A Class VII Samoan child
in his school uniform.
Why do girls like to go to school
together in groups?
Growing up in Samoa in the 1920s
The Samoan Islands are part of a large group of small
islands in the southern part of the Pacific Ocean. In
the 1920s, according to research reports on Samoan
society, children did not go to school. They learnt
many things, such as how to take care of children or
do household work from older children and from
adults. Fishing was a very important activity on the
islands. Young people, therefore, learnt to undertake
long fishing expeditions. But they learnt these things
at different points in their childhood.
As soon as babies could walk, their mothers or
other adults no longer looked after them. Older
children, often as young as five years old, took over
this responsibility. Both boys and girls looked after
their younger siblings. But, by the time a boy was
about nine years old, he joined the older boys in
learning outdoor jobs like fishing and planting
coconuts. Girls had to continue looking after small
children or do errands for adults till they were
teenagers. But, once they became teenagers they had
much more freedom. After the age of fourteen or so,
girls also went on fishing trips, worked in the
plantations, learnt how to weave baskets. Cooking
was done in special cooking-houses, where boys were
supposed to do most of the work while girls helped
with the preparations.
Growing up male in
Madhya Pradesh in the 1960s
The following is adapted from an account of
experiences of being in a small town in Madhya
Pradesh in the 1960s.
From Class VI onwards, boys and girls went to
separate schools. The girls? school was designed very
differently from the boys? school. They had a central
courtyard where they played in total seclusion and
39 Chapter 4: Growing up as Boys and Girls 40 Social and Political Life
Make a drawing of a street or a
park in your neighbourhood. Show
the different kinds of activities
young boys and girls may be
engaged in. You could do this
individually or in groups.
Are there as many girls as boys in
your drawing? Most probably you
would have drawn fewer girls. Can
you think of reasons why there
are fewer women and girls in your
neighbourhood streets, parks and
markets in the late evenings or at
night?
Are girls and boys doing different
activities? Can you think of
reasons why this might be so?
What would happen if you
replaced the girls with the boys
and vice-versa?
safety from the outside world. The boys? school had
no such courtyard and our playground was just a
big space attached to the school. Every evening, once
school was over, the boys watched as hundreds of
school girls crowded the narrow streets. As these
girls walked on the streets, they looked so purposeful.
This was unlike the boys who used the streets as a
place to stand around idling, to play, to try out tricks
with their bicycles. For the girls, the street was simply
a place to get straight home. The girls always went
in groups, perhaps because they also carried fears
of being teased or attacked.
After reading the two examples above, we realise
that there are many different ways of growing up.
Often we think that there is only one way in which
children grow up. This is because we are most
familiar with our own experiences. If we talk to elders
in our family, we will see that their childhoods were
probably very different from ours.
We also realise that societies make clear
distinctions between boys and girls. This begins from
a very young age. We are for example, given different
toys to play with. Boys are usually given cars to play
with and girls dolls. Both toys can be a lot of fun to
play with. Why are girls then given dolls and boys
cars? Toys become a way of telling children that they
will have different futures when they become men
and women. If we think about it, this difference is
created in the smallest and most everyday things.
How girls must dress, what games boys should play,
how girls need to talk softly or boys need to be tough.
All these are ways of telling children that they have
specific roles to play when they grow up to be men
and women. Later in life this affects the subjects we
can study or the careers we can choose.
In most societies, including our own, the roles men
and women play or the work they do, are not valued
equally. Men and women do not have the same
status. Let us look at how this difference exists in
the work done by men and women.
40 Social and Political Life
Page 4
Growing up as
Boys and Girls
Being a boy or a girl is an
important part of one?s identity. The
society we grow up in teaches us
what kind of behaviour is
acceptable for girls and boys, what
boys and girls can or cannot do.
We often grow up thinking that
these things are exactly the same
everywhere. But do all societies
look at boys and girls in the same
way? We will try and answer this
question in this chapter. We will
also look at how the different roles
assigned to boys and girls prepare
them for their future roles as men
and women. We will learn that
most societies value men and
women differently. The roles
women play and the work they do
are usually valued less than the
roles men play and the work they
do. This chapter will also examine
how inequalities between men and
women emerge in the area of work.
4
CHAPTER
In what ways do the experiences
of Samoan children and teenagers
differ from your own experiences
of growing up? Is there anything
in this experience that you wish
was part of your growing up?
A Class VII Samoan child
in his school uniform.
Why do girls like to go to school
together in groups?
Growing up in Samoa in the 1920s
The Samoan Islands are part of a large group of small
islands in the southern part of the Pacific Ocean. In
the 1920s, according to research reports on Samoan
society, children did not go to school. They learnt
many things, such as how to take care of children or
do household work from older children and from
adults. Fishing was a very important activity on the
islands. Young people, therefore, learnt to undertake
long fishing expeditions. But they learnt these things
at different points in their childhood.
As soon as babies could walk, their mothers or
other adults no longer looked after them. Older
children, often as young as five years old, took over
this responsibility. Both boys and girls looked after
their younger siblings. But, by the time a boy was
about nine years old, he joined the older boys in
learning outdoor jobs like fishing and planting
coconuts. Girls had to continue looking after small
children or do errands for adults till they were
teenagers. But, once they became teenagers they had
much more freedom. After the age of fourteen or so,
girls also went on fishing trips, worked in the
plantations, learnt how to weave baskets. Cooking
was done in special cooking-houses, where boys were
supposed to do most of the work while girls helped
with the preparations.
Growing up male in
Madhya Pradesh in the 1960s
The following is adapted from an account of
experiences of being in a small town in Madhya
Pradesh in the 1960s.
From Class VI onwards, boys and girls went to
separate schools. The girls? school was designed very
differently from the boys? school. They had a central
courtyard where they played in total seclusion and
39 Chapter 4: Growing up as Boys and Girls 40 Social and Political Life
Make a drawing of a street or a
park in your neighbourhood. Show
the different kinds of activities
young boys and girls may be
engaged in. You could do this
individually or in groups.
Are there as many girls as boys in
your drawing? Most probably you
would have drawn fewer girls. Can
you think of reasons why there
are fewer women and girls in your
neighbourhood streets, parks and
markets in the late evenings or at
night?
Are girls and boys doing different
activities? Can you think of
reasons why this might be so?
What would happen if you
replaced the girls with the boys
and vice-versa?
safety from the outside world. The boys? school had
no such courtyard and our playground was just a
big space attached to the school. Every evening, once
school was over, the boys watched as hundreds of
school girls crowded the narrow streets. As these
girls walked on the streets, they looked so purposeful.
This was unlike the boys who used the streets as a
place to stand around idling, to play, to try out tricks
with their bicycles. For the girls, the street was simply
a place to get straight home. The girls always went
in groups, perhaps because they also carried fears
of being teased or attacked.
After reading the two examples above, we realise
that there are many different ways of growing up.
Often we think that there is only one way in which
children grow up. This is because we are most
familiar with our own experiences. If we talk to elders
in our family, we will see that their childhoods were
probably very different from ours.
We also realise that societies make clear
distinctions between boys and girls. This begins from
a very young age. We are for example, given different
toys to play with. Boys are usually given cars to play
with and girls dolls. Both toys can be a lot of fun to
play with. Why are girls then given dolls and boys
cars? Toys become a way of telling children that they
will have different futures when they become men
and women. If we think about it, this difference is
created in the smallest and most everyday things.
How girls must dress, what games boys should play,
how girls need to talk softly or boys need to be tough.
All these are ways of telling children that they have
specific roles to play when they grow up to be men
and women. Later in life this affects the subjects we
can study or the careers we can choose.
In most societies, including our own, the roles men
and women play or the work they do, are not valued
equally. Men and women do not have the same
status. Let us look at how this difference exists in
the work done by men and women.
40 Social and Political Life 41
Ma, we are going on a
school excursion. Rosie Ma?am
needs volunteers. Can?t you
take a holiday from office
and volunteer?
?MY MOTHER
DOES NOT WORK?
Harmeet?s mother
always comes for
excursions, beause
she doesn?t work.
Shonali, how can
you say that! You
know that Jaspreet
aunty is up at 5 a.m.
everyday doing all
the housework!
Yes, but that?s not real
work, it?s just house work!
Oh! That?s what you
think, do you? Let?s go over
to their house and ask
Jaspreet what she thinks!
Harsharan, Shonali
thinks that your wife
is not a working
person!
But isn?t that correct aunty?
My mother is a housewife ?
she does not work!
Then Jaspreet, why don?t
you just relax and let them
manage everything for a
change?
Great idea!
OK, I?ll go on strike
tomorrow!
What fun! We?ll take care
of everything tomorrow
? with Papa!
Oh God! Look at the time!
Where?s my breakfast? Why aren?t
the children ready?
Ha, ha!
How would I know?
I?m on strike, remember?
Besides, Mangala has also
taken leave today.
Oh-ho! That?s
the school bus! I?ll
have to drop
them in the car.
Hurry, hurry! And
ask Harmeet to switch
on the pump!
At the Singh?s house
Next morning, 7:30 a.m.
HONK
HONK
Page 5
Growing up as
Boys and Girls
Being a boy or a girl is an
important part of one?s identity. The
society we grow up in teaches us
what kind of behaviour is
acceptable for girls and boys, what
boys and girls can or cannot do.
We often grow up thinking that
these things are exactly the same
everywhere. But do all societies
look at boys and girls in the same
way? We will try and answer this
question in this chapter. We will
also look at how the different roles
assigned to boys and girls prepare
them for their future roles as men
and women. We will learn that
most societies value men and
women differently. The roles
women play and the work they do
are usually valued less than the
roles men play and the work they
do. This chapter will also examine
how inequalities between men and
women emerge in the area of work.
4
CHAPTER
In what ways do the experiences
of Samoan children and teenagers
differ from your own experiences
of growing up? Is there anything
in this experience that you wish
was part of your growing up?
A Class VII Samoan child
in his school uniform.
Why do girls like to go to school
together in groups?
Growing up in Samoa in the 1920s
The Samoan Islands are part of a large group of small
islands in the southern part of the Pacific Ocean. In
the 1920s, according to research reports on Samoan
society, children did not go to school. They learnt
many things, such as how to take care of children or
do household work from older children and from
adults. Fishing was a very important activity on the
islands. Young people, therefore, learnt to undertake
long fishing expeditions. But they learnt these things
at different points in their childhood.
As soon as babies could walk, their mothers or
other adults no longer looked after them. Older
children, often as young as five years old, took over
this responsibility. Both boys and girls looked after
their younger siblings. But, by the time a boy was
about nine years old, he joined the older boys in
learning outdoor jobs like fishing and planting
coconuts. Girls had to continue looking after small
children or do errands for adults till they were
teenagers. But, once they became teenagers they had
much more freedom. After the age of fourteen or so,
girls also went on fishing trips, worked in the
plantations, learnt how to weave baskets. Cooking
was done in special cooking-houses, where boys were
supposed to do most of the work while girls helped
with the preparations.
Growing up male in
Madhya Pradesh in the 1960s
The following is adapted from an account of
experiences of being in a small town in Madhya
Pradesh in the 1960s.
From Class VI onwards, boys and girls went to
separate schools. The girls? school was designed very
differently from the boys? school. They had a central
courtyard where they played in total seclusion and
39 Chapter 4: Growing up as Boys and Girls 40 Social and Political Life
Make a drawing of a street or a
park in your neighbourhood. Show
the different kinds of activities
young boys and girls may be
engaged in. You could do this
individually or in groups.
Are there as many girls as boys in
your drawing? Most probably you
would have drawn fewer girls. Can
you think of reasons why there
are fewer women and girls in your
neighbourhood streets, parks and
markets in the late evenings or at
night?
Are girls and boys doing different
activities? Can you think of
reasons why this might be so?
What would happen if you
replaced the girls with the boys
and vice-versa?
safety from the outside world. The boys? school had
no such courtyard and our playground was just a
big space attached to the school. Every evening, once
school was over, the boys watched as hundreds of
school girls crowded the narrow streets. As these
girls walked on the streets, they looked so purposeful.
This was unlike the boys who used the streets as a
place to stand around idling, to play, to try out tricks
with their bicycles. For the girls, the street was simply
a place to get straight home. The girls always went
in groups, perhaps because they also carried fears
of being teased or attacked.
After reading the two examples above, we realise
that there are many different ways of growing up.
Often we think that there is only one way in which
children grow up. This is because we are most
familiar with our own experiences. If we talk to elders
in our family, we will see that their childhoods were
probably very different from ours.
We also realise that societies make clear
distinctions between boys and girls. This begins from
a very young age. We are for example, given different
toys to play with. Boys are usually given cars to play
with and girls dolls. Both toys can be a lot of fun to
play with. Why are girls then given dolls and boys
cars? Toys become a way of telling children that they
will have different futures when they become men
and women. If we think about it, this difference is
created in the smallest and most everyday things.
How girls must dress, what games boys should play,
how girls need to talk softly or boys need to be tough.
All these are ways of telling children that they have
specific roles to play when they grow up to be men
and women. Later in life this affects the subjects we
can study or the careers we can choose.
In most societies, including our own, the roles men
and women play or the work they do, are not valued
equally. Men and women do not have the same
status. Let us look at how this difference exists in
the work done by men and women.
40 Social and Political Life 41
Ma, we are going on a
school excursion. Rosie Ma?am
needs volunteers. Can?t you
take a holiday from office
and volunteer?
?MY MOTHER
DOES NOT WORK?
Harmeet?s mother
always comes for
excursions, beause
she doesn?t work.
Shonali, how can
you say that! You
know that Jaspreet
aunty is up at 5 a.m.
everyday doing all
the housework!
Yes, but that?s not real
work, it?s just house work!
Oh! That?s what you
think, do you? Let?s go over
to their house and ask
Jaspreet what she thinks!
Harsharan, Shonali
thinks that your wife
is not a working
person!
But isn?t that correct aunty?
My mother is a housewife ?
she does not work!
Then Jaspreet, why don?t
you just relax and let them
manage everything for a
change?
Great idea!
OK, I?ll go on strike
tomorrow!
What fun! We?ll take care
of everything tomorrow
? with Papa!
Oh God! Look at the time!
Where?s my breakfast? Why aren?t
the children ready?
Ha, ha!
How would I know?
I?m on strike, remember?
Besides, Mangala has also
taken leave today.
Oh-ho! That?s
the school bus! I?ll
have to drop
them in the car.
Hurry, hurry! And
ask Harmeet to switch
on the pump!
At the Singh?s house
Next morning, 7:30 a.m.
HONK
HONK
42 Social and Political Life
But, what about the kids? lunch boxes?
Oh no! Forgot
about that!
I?ll give you some money. Just
buy something from the
canteen today...
Ma already gave us
money for that!
Evening, 6.00 p.m.
I?m exhausted! How about
some tea? Oh, I forgot...your
strike...I?ll make some myself.
The house looks like it
was hit by a hurricane!
Did you expect it to remain in exactly the
same condition in which you left it this
morning, dear?
Harmeet, where
on earth are the
tea leaves?
Hee hee...
I wonder if they
still believe I don?t
work?...and now I have
to remind them that
Chachaji and Chachiji
are coming
for dinner.
DING
DING
Valuing housework
Harmeet?s family did not think that the work Jaspreet
did within the house was real work. This feeling is
not unique to their families. Across the world, the
main responsibility for housework and care-giving
tasks, like looking after the family, especially
children, the elderly and sick members, lies with
women. Yet, as we have seen, the work that women
do within the home is not recognised as work. It is
also assumed that this is something that comes
naturally to women. It, therefore, does not have to
be paid for. And society devalues this work.
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